October 2006
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"The New American Princess"

Joseph Henry began kindergarten last month, and my admittedly waning faith in America was rekindled.

As we prepared for the first day of school, I thought back four decades ago to my own childhood in suburban Atlanta, and realized in many ways just how one dimensional it was.

Our neighborhood was not only all white, it was overwhelmingly White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. The one Jewish family seemed alluringly exotic.

My elementary school had no black students. Not until sixth grade was there an African-American teacher, Mr. Cary Wynn. He was an outstanding teacher; he dare not be less than excellent with so many curious eyes scrutinizing every move he made.

I was a junior at Ridgeview High School before a black student passed through its doors. I didn’t have a class with a person whose skin color was different from my own until I was in college. I have no childhood memory of hearing conversations in any language but English.

What a different suburban life Joseph Henry is experiencing. He has friends who began their lives in Russia and China , friends who are African American, Hispanic and biracial, friends of different faiths and whose families are configured differently than ours.

None of these friendships were imaginable in the Atlanta of my childhood. But as I watch my son play with his rich mix of friends, the most amazing thing of all is that this is normal life to him, that the color of one’s skin, or country of one’s birth, or even the gender of one’s parents make no difference.

Five years ago, I held my four-month-old son in my arms and watched in horror as the second plane flew into the World Trade Center . I looked down at my sleeping child and wondered, “What kind of world will you grow up in?”

It is a question I have asked frequently these last five years. But as fearful as I am at times about the safety of our country, my greater concern has been the threats to America from within.

From our leaders who lied us into a war that seems to have no end. From the growing disparity between rich and poor. From the erosion of the constitutional rights that make us free. From politicians who pander to our worst fears, who would have me believe that people coming to this country seeking better lives for their children pose a threat to my livelihood, or that two men or women who love each other pose a threat to my marriage and family.

On any given day it is easy to find myself in despair about the future of America , to wonder what has happened to the values on which this country was founded.

But last month we took Joseph Henry to kindergarten. We walked past the cafeteria decorated with flags from the 35 countries represented among the student body, and made our way to his classroom, where we met Grace and Chandler and Jose and Symphonee.

And as we gathered again at the end of the day, I realized that the look of concern for a crying child was the same on all our faces, whether we are black or white or Hispanic or Asian. I saw that no matter what the color or shape of a child’s eyes, they lit up with the same joy when they saw their parents waiting for them at the end of their first day in this brave new world of kindergarten.

As Joe, Joseph Henry and I walked down the sidewalk headed home we passed the family of another new kindergartner. The pretty young girl chattered happily in Spanish to her mother, her brand new pink backpack slung proudly over her shoulder.

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Announcements

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Adult Sunday School

Classes will be held in the Founders’ Room and begin promptly at 9:30 a.m.

Here is the schedule for the fall:

Oct. 1 – Common misperceptions about Muslim faith and practice, taught by John Iskander, assistant professor at Georgia State. Dr. Iskander received his BA from Santa Clara University, MA from UCLA and PhD from the University of California Santa Barbara.

Oct. 8 – No Sunday School because of the annual Blessing of the Animals.

Oct. 15 – Wrap up session led by Jon Herman.

Oct. 22 and 29 – “Compassion: Gateway to the Divine,” video lecture by Karen Armstrong. Based on her recent book, Great Transformation: The Beginning of Our Religious Traditions, Armstrong explores how ninth century religious response to an age of unprecedented violence can speak clearly and helpfully to the violence and desperation of our own times.

Nov. 5, 12, 19 – “Respecting the Other: Christianity and Religious Pluralism,” taught by Dr. Joe Monti, professor of ethics and moral theology at the University of the South.

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Save These Dates

Mark your calendars now for these upcoming events. More details coming soon.

• Oct. 1, 8, and 15, 2 p.m. —The Fall Film Series at the home of Eleanor Ringel Gillespie. The first film will be “An Inconvenient Truth,” Al Gore’s film on the environment. Oct. 8th the film will be, “Akeelah and the Bee.” Oct. 15th the film will be “A Prairie Home Companion.”

• Oct. 21, 9:00 a.m. until 12:00 p.m. – A working rehearsal with Dr. James Cochran and the St. Dunstan choir, open to the public, and followed by a catered lunch in the Parish Hall (reservations requested, contact the church office).

• Oct. 22, 4:00 p.m. – Choral Evensong and Organ Recital

• Oct. 28 – The Annual Flying Pig Barbeque in the beech grove at 5:30. (Note that the barbeque has moved to Saturday this year).

• Nov. 5 – Come celebrate All Saints Sunday with a jazz Eucharist at the 10:30 service.

• Nov. 9 – Mary and Martha’s Place Annual Dessert Party, held this year at St. Anne’s. Speakers are Atlanta Journal Constitution film critics Bob Longino and Eleanor Ringel Gillespie.

• Nov. 22 , 6:00 p.m. – Thanksgiving Eve Eucharist.

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For Youth and Children

Children In and Out of Church

Quite a few years ago, as part of a confirmation class that I was teaching to teenagers, I attended a Russian Orthodox service. It was an eye-opening experience. Most strikingly, there were no pews. People stood, and there was quite a bit of milling about. This worked pretty well for parents with children. Parents could take their young children up near the altar to participate in the worship or steer them toward the back of the church where they could move around freely without distracting those worshipping up front.

Many years later, when I had my own children, this visit to the Russian Orthodox service strongly influenced decisions that I made about taking them to church. I decided to bring my children to the service even when they were quite young but to be prepared to take them out for a break as needed.

Since we do have pews in the Episcopal church, and we don’t customarily ‘mill about’ during the service, I made the decision to sit fairly close to the altar so that my kids could see and be engaged by what was going on, but to also sit at the side end of a pew where I could make a quick, fairly unobtrusive exit if necessary.

I came to church armed with Cheerios, crayons, paper, and books. Depending on the degree of my child’s fidgety-ness that day, I plotted the best time to take her out for a break – the psalm? the hymn before the gospel? the announcements? I assiduously tried to avoid my children being a distraction during the sermon and the anthem. If it sounds like a lot of work, it was (and to some extent, continues to be).

Overall, to me the work involved in having my children in church has been worth it. As Episcopalians we value the aesthetic as a path to God. That is, we recognize that one way that we draw close to God is through our experience of beauty. The sound and rhythm of the language of our liturgy, our music, and the design and appointment of our worship space are all aesthetic elements of our worship that are accessible to young children.

I have seen my children stop their coloring and become attentive during a beautiful piece of music, and I believe that at that moment of attentiveness they are being invited to experience the holy. And to be honest, I can’t think of too many things I’d rather do than sit in a beautiful place, with my children beside me or on my lap, and hear about God.

I believe that after a busy week my children benefit from this time with me as well. When I think about it, most of my own recollections about church when I was a child have to do with beauty and family togetherness.

As with most parenting decisions, what works for my family and me does not necessarily work for you and your family. I offer my own thoughts and experiences not as a model but as an invitation to reflect on your own choices about your children and church.

I understand part of my job to be to help St. Dunstan’s be a community that nurtures the faith of its children and is hospitable to families. To that end I will make sure that your children have a snack at the end of Sunday School and a chance to stretch their legs…hungry, restless children don’t get much out of being in church, nor do their parents!

The nursery has been transformed into a lovely space by Lori Asbury. Lori and I are committed to the nursery being a safe and nurturing place. We need your help, especially on days when there are a lot of children in the nursery. To sign up to help with care-giving, please contact Lori or me.

And Children’s Chapel will begin on Sunday, Oct. 15th. Children’s Chapel will be geared for children who are pre-school through 2nd grade. (Older children are welcome to participate as helpers.) It will be a chance for children to hear the gospel in a form that is accessible to them. And we will practice (and maybe even talk a little about) how we behave in church. Then children will join the service at the Peace. (If you request, your child can be taken to the nursery.)

Peace, Ellen

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From the Organist and Choirmaster

Kitchen Update
Out of Chaos ...

Scripture tells us that God created the heavens and the earth out of chaos, a theological point worth remembering when walking through the parish hall these days. It is indeed chaotic in that part of the building, but out of the chaos will soon emerge the brand new, badly needed, long hoped for kitchen, bathrooms and storage areas. The completion date is the end of October and so far the work is on schedule. We all look forward to reclaiming Sunday School space, resuming Wednesday night Village Suppers, full use of the parish hall and working in the new kitchen. In the meantime, thanks for your patience!

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This and That

Passages

We give thanks for the September 7 birth of Alex Elizabeth Bird, daughter of Steven Bird and Amy Lytle and granddaughter of Christine and Jim Bird.

We extend our sympathy to the family of Louisa Walters, former parishioner, on her death, September 17, 2006.

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Mary & Martha's Place
2006 Fall Calendar